nut hugger
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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