I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
