I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You left your underwear on the fireplace
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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