For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
