just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
