MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
