I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
