they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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