Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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