hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
