tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
