Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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