he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
