after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
