she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
