i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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