it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
