Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
