I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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