I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
third nipple confirmed
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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