All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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