Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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