I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
