Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
