Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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