boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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