He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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