Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
