What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
