id be glad to
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
