your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
