It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
