this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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