I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
