Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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