the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
