I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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