New low: just hacked my moms facebook
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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