Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
