shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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