Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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