I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
