he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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