just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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