I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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