Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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