You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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