I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
