You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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