so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
