Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
