Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
