He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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